Back Blogging

This one is for Katie, who wants me to update my blog even though I talk to her every day and she knows every detail of my mostly mundane life. It really is mundane, so read at your own risk.

Early February I decided I could not take anymore harassment at my job and put in my two weeks notice. I still believe it was the right decision, but it's been harder than I thought to find another job. I've sent out numerous resumes, and gotten one call, but it seemed really shady so I didn't go to the interview. I spend hours searching the internet for jobs until I get too frustrated and depressed and have to switch to facebook.

Last month I applied for unemployment, which you can still get even if you quit your job. "Voluntary Leave of Employment" they call it, and I had to answer tons of questions about the circumstances surrounding my decision to leave. I had to do a phone interview with someone from the state, and he had to verify my story with my employer. He called me back and said their story did not match mine (of course it didn't, like they would admit to telling me to "ignore" harassment) so I had to clarify and restate everything that happened. I didn't think it would be a big deal, but re-living six months of harassment to a total stranger who acted indifferent was incredibly stressful and emotionally straining. They haven't made a decision yet, and I can always appeal if I get denied. Lucky for me I have two lawyers willing to represent me pro-bono, so I'm prepared to fight. One of the extremely unfortunate outcomes of filing for unemployment is that I lost my two best references, which really sucks.

Other than scouring the internet for jobs, I've also been on the hunt for a new apartment. Scott and I need more space, so we're looking for a two bedroom, but it's hard to find a nice one with our budget. So far we've looked at 5 or 6 but they have been sub-par. "Sh*tholes" as Scott calls them, haha. Our other friend Kati gave us the number to her realtor, and she's been awesome so far. She took all of our criteria and sent me about half a dozen apartments, of which I picked two and we are going to look at them this weekend. I've been really stressed about finding a new apartment because we told our landlord we would not be renewing our lease, so as of today we have 3 weeks to find a new place and move out. I'm having nightmares about it! Last night I dreamed we found a place, but the laundry machines only took $5 bills. On the plus side at least I'm not having work nightmares anymore.

On top of being broke and jobless and on the verge of homelessness, Scott's brother Alex is being transferred to San Francisco. While this is an awesome job opportunity for him, he's a good friend and he's family and it sucks. I wonder how long it's going to take to sink in that he doesn't live here anymore... I will say I've managed to hold it together and be sad in private, and just give him smiles and hugs. Very unlike my public breakdowns when Katie and Jon moved to Florida, but you can't just be my new best friend and get pregnant and then move 4,000 miles away and get away with it.

Speaking of people leaving and loss, Scott's uncle and my great aunt passed away within days of each other in early February. I'm not good with expressing grief, so I won't even try. I just know the pain and the hurt you feel inside. March was also the anniversary of my friend's death, and it's always especially hard because suicide brings a whole other level of pain to loss. All I can say is that these beautiful people are at peace now and their memories and spirits live on in those whose lives they touched.

I feel like it's time for some good news! Hopefully we find a new apartment soon, so I can stop stressing and focus more on finding a job. Also Spring is showing up fashionably late in Chicago. I went for a walk the other day and saw tons of robins and buds on trees and people cleaning up their yards, so it can't be far away now!